I May Not Have the Castle...

Yep, I've been slacking a bit...but fortunately not in my devos.  I would much rather forget a blog or two than a devo or two.  All that means now is that I have 3 days worth of challenges to write about.  And lucky for me again, they are all pretty related and go hand in hand quite well!

Day 7 - Today I will remember who I am in Christ.

Simple.  Well, simply said anyhow.  There are times when I feel like I'm a nobody.  I feel unnoticed, as if I disappeared today, no one would even notice tomorrow.  But that simply isn't the case.  Because of Christ I am a somebody!  I will never go unnoticed.  I am loved and cherished beyond my own comprehension...and no one can take that away from me!  Fact of the matter is, however, that this isn't easy to remember when things get tough.  But if I can remind myself of this every morning, life will be a little bit easier, if only just a smidgen...

Day 8 - Today I will be your student, listening for You to show me when I've mentally and emotionally crossed over from healthy guilt to destructive shame.

Because of who I am in Him, nothing that I do can ever make Him love me less, or for that matter, more!  He loves me relentlessly and that will never change.  There is no need to beat myself up over something if I've already "given" it to God.  I definitely struggle with this.  The whole forgiving yourself thing has already been discussed but this is pretty much the same idea.  Guilt is there for a purpose.  I need to repent and ask forgiveness for all that I've done wrong.  But then....(wait for it)....I have to let it go!  I can't dwell in it and continue to hit my head against the wall.  If I've given it to God, He has already forgotten it...why bring it back up?

Day 9 - Today I will savor the fact that I am Your daughter, a princess in the family of the King of kings.

This devotion also focused on getting out of the past (is Sheila Walsh hiding in my frontal lobe or what??).  She referred to it in this instance as "looking at life in the rearview mirror" which can cause some major wrecks or, at the very least, a few fender-benders.    I've definitely had a few of those fender-benders.  I spend a lot of time looking in the rearview mirrors and I forget to look at whats right in front of me...it has not only hurt me but a few others as well.  But if I truly savor in the fact that I am the daughter of the King of kings, I can move forward.  Because I am His daughter, there is always joy.  Why look behind me when He lies ahead?  I am a princess and my destiny awaits!  : )

Potholes

Day 3 - Today I will remember that my failure to forgive myself is a prideful choice to not receive your grace.

*ouch*  That statement really cuts deep.  I didn't even have to think about it for more than half a second - guilty as charged.  But then I started to justify myself.  My guilty feelings, my lack of forgiveness for myself...that isn't my pride.  I'm allowed to feel guilty!  And then I read that again, out loud, - "my failure to forgive myself is a prideful choice to not receive your grace."  *ouch*  Yep, no matter how many times I read it or say it, I can't make the ring of truth go away...

Once God forgives us (which is immediately after we ask) we have to forgive ourselves.  If we don't "we have made the court of our opinion more powerful than the court of our holy and just God" (Walsh 20).  This definitely made me think a little bit harder of all the feelings I've been harboring.  It seems like forgiveness has come up a lot.  I'm not sure if forgiving others or forgiving myself is going to be harder...all I know is the road ahead is going to be a little bumpy.  But I'm willing and ready to face it all...  In closing, I'd like to mention the quote that popped to my mind when I mentioned a bumpy road.

"There are potholes on the road less traveled.  Some deep, some not so deep, some you dig yourself.  Most are filled with mud.  Many contain rocks.  Once in awhile, however, you'll be walking along and step in one a bit more accommodating...shabby, green, and pulsing with life.  It'll tickle your feet, like clover" (from the novel Flabbergasted).  

What hope!