Why?

Day 19 - Today I will thank you for your love when I'm tempted to ask for answers instead.

The question "why?" is on the tip of our tongues whenever things get ugly.  I often wonder why certain things happen to me.  Why did I have to suffer with an undiagnosed health issue for so long?  Why did bad things happen during what was supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life?  Why me?  But that isn't what these answers are about.  This is more of the big stuff.  Why is their suffering?  Why is their evil?  I read this devotion this morning and couldn't think of something in my life where I needed to ask the bigger "why?"  But, again, I was looking to close to myself.

We were watching an episode of Bones tonight.  The investigation centered around a few soldiers who had spent some time in Iraq.  It turned out they had tried to cover up some friendly fire and the accidental murder of an Iraqi family (they thought they were insurgents).  The situation got Justin and I talking of the reality of those possibilities.  Our guys deal with enough without having to deal with friendly fire and killing innocent people.  Justin and I both know a few people who have served time in Iraq/Afghanistan and the things they have seen, the things they have dealt with...those things can't be erased from memory.  We came around to the subject of children, children are taught to fight in Iraq.  What does a soldier do when faced with a child aiming an AK-47 right at them?  It's a kill or be killed situation.  And it isn't fair.  I started to cry...children!  And it isn't just Iraq - I have read horror stories about children in Africa who had to kill their own families in brutal ways as their forced initiation into an army.  For a brief moment I let the thought cross my mind - Why God?  Why is this kind of thing allowed to go on?  Why are people so evil?  And then I stopped...No, I'm supposed to thank God for His love.  And I did.  "Thank you Lord for your love.  Without it, those children would have no hope.  Without Your love evil would triumph..."

I think I heard it said somewhere that faith isn't about dealing with the answers, it's about living with the questions.  And I can live with those questions when I know that God's love has prevailed, is prevailing now, and will ultimately prevail in the end.