*ouch* That statement really cuts deep. I didn't even have to think about it for more than half a second - guilty as charged. But then I started to justify myself. My guilty feelings, my lack of forgiveness for myself...that isn't my pride. I'm allowed to feel guilty! And then I read that again, out loud, - "my failure to forgive myself is a prideful choice to not receive your grace." *ouch* Yep, no matter how many times I read it or say it, I can't make the ring of truth go away...
Once God forgives us (which is immediately after we ask) we have to forgive ourselves. If we don't "we have made the court of our opinion more powerful than the court of our holy and just God" (Walsh 20). This definitely made me think a little bit harder of all the feelings I've been harboring. It seems like forgiveness has come up a lot. I'm not sure if forgiving others or forgiving myself is going to be harder...all I know is the road ahead is going to be a little bumpy. But I'm willing and ready to face it all... In closing, I'd like to mention the quote that popped to my mind when I mentioned a bumpy road.
"There are potholes on the road less traveled. Some deep, some not so deep, some you dig yourself. Most are filled with mud. Many contain rocks. Once in awhile, however, you'll be walking along and step in one a bit more accommodating...shabby, green, and pulsing with life. It'll tickle your feet, like clover" (from the novel Flabbergasted).
What hope!
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